To orgasm or not to orgasm?
According to reports by the Kinsey Institute, roughly 70% of women don’t reach an orgasm during intercourse with their partner. Let that just sink in for a moment: that is more than 2/3 of all the women they interviewed. Although that figure in itself is shocking, it also makes you wonder about how many women never orgasm at all (i.e., intercourse or not)!
A lot of the blame often falls on men as to why women don’t experience an orgasm. But truth be told, women have a lot to do about this as well whether they realise it or not.
Why Is It Difficult for Women to Reach an Orgasm?
There are many reasons why women don’t reach a sexual climax. Some of them maybe men’s faults, but some of the reasons are down to the women themselves. Sometimes, in very rare occasions there are even outside reasons.
We have done some research of our own into this and we think there are 6 top reasons why women DON’T Climax
Reason 1: Lack of foreplay
Foreplay? What foreplay?
Foreplay is extremely important. For most women, making love or sex begins in the mind and if a woman doesn’t ‘condition’ her mind for sex, then chances are she won’t be sexually responsive in bed either. Furthermore, women really do need more time than men to reach an orgasm; so foreplay is actually your way of extending your own sexual stamina.
Reason 2: She’s thinking too much!
Women are natural multi-taskers. Unfortunately, they’re so used to thinking and doing several things at the same time that they find it hard to simply be ‘in the moment’ during sex. If most men can be very ‘in the zone’ during sex, women seem to have various thoughts running through their heads all the time (e.g., home chores that need to be done, kids’ homework, dirty laundry, etc.).
Reason 3: She’s full of… insecurities.
Women have many body image issues. While you may adore her, her mind is probably worried about at least three different things as you undress her: Is the light revealing any cellulite? Are my ‘love handles’ protruding? Does he think my breasts are too small/big?
If body image anxiety is not in her head, then she may be thinking about things such as “Oh gosh I didn’t shower, I hope I smell good… especially down there.”, or “I didn’t pee, god this is excruciating, I hope I don’t embarrass myself.”
ALL these thoughts are making her focus on the wrong things! It’s taking attention away from sexual pleasure and into sexual insecurities. And when a woman is in this mode, it’s almost impossible to her focus on reaching her own climax!
Reason 4: She really doesn’t know her own body.
There is a certain art form to making love to a woman’s body. It really does have a lot of mysterious curves, spots and turns. Sadly, many women don’t indulge in a lot of ‘self exploration’ when it comes to sex. As such, it’s hard to guide you on what makes her feel good or which techniques really turn her on. And really, if she doesn’t know her own body, how can you be expected to instinctively know what brings her pleasure, right?
The best thing is… it’s never too late to learn! Why don’t you BOTH explore her body? Don’t rush anything and try everything. See what turns her on best and use that knowledge to make her reach her orgasm. Make it your sexual quest! However, here are some clues to save you a few steps…
Reason 5: You are not paying attention!
True, men are not mind-readers. Unfortunately, many women are not great communicators in bed as well so we have a little problem here. Compounding this problem is of course that favourite female bedroom habit of ‘faking orgasms’. As a result, YOU think that what you’re doing is great when in reality you may not even be close!
To solve this particular problem, try to develop a certain ‘sexual code’ between the two of you. For instance, a slight squeeze on your arm means “You’re doing great! Whatever you do, don’t stop, but keep doing it!”; while nails on your skin or arm mean “enough of that!”.
You will receive more squeezes, however, if you know some important facts. Click here to learn more…
Reason 6: You are showing off
Men like to try different sexual positions and showing off their best techniques and that’s great but sometimes you may be changing just a bit too fast. Women need to get accustomed to a certain ‘rhythm’ before sexual pleasure begins to climb. If you keep shifting positions, she will either (a) never find the position that brings her an orgasm, (b) lose the sexual pleasure she was experiencing in the previous position or (c) be so frustrated that even if you go back to the same position, she may not be that sexually aroused again.
So keep this in mind: when it comes to female orgasm it’s not just location, location, location… it’s also about repetition, repetition, repetition.
Hopefully our list of 6 potential reasons why your partner is not reaching an orgasm paves the way for discussion between the two of you. Don’t focus on why she’s not reaching an orgasm. Instead, focus on what you guys are going to do, so that she does reach her climax. That’s a more positive approach and lot more fun too! Learn creative and easy ways to do it here…
This article comes courtesy of Gabrielle Moore at the The female orgasm secrets revealed.
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